This week has been a madhouse at work. I'm feeling exhausted, and looking forward to the weekend. Cousin Sam is graduating and we're throwing her a party at the house. Making hamburgers and hotdogs. Should be fun!
Took a pregnancy test yesterday.........came back negative. Not sure why I took one, because even if I am, it wouldn't test positive for another 2 weeks. I am just so anxious!!!! I looked up the symptoms of pregnancy, and I have all of them. Swollen boobies, slight cramping, lower back aches and feeling sooooooooo tired. Could be PMS though. HOPEFULLY soon, we'll know for sure. Find out on the 28th, which is my birthday :)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day
Today is Mother's Day. It's hopefully, my last Mother's Day without children. Feeling a little sick today, not sure if it's something I ate or what but, ugh...feeling gross. We are in "ovulation" time, so it's excited to think I might be pregnant right now. I'm really trying not to get my hopes up but, it's hard. I don't want to be sad if I'm not.... I'll find out on my birthday, which is May 28th. Bryan and I have decided that we're not going to expect anything, and continue trying next month if we're not. He's been awesome, with letting me talk about it, and not being annoyed with the countless names I suggest for our future children. We like the names:
Sophia
Katie
Jackson
Kyle
Drew
We'll see which ones will stick. For anyone reading this, please feel free to suggest names!
I am grateful to have such wonderful people in my life, and amazing mothers. Sally, Donna and Sandi are excellent examples of a mother's love. Can't wait to make you all Grandmother's again!
Sophia
Katie
Jackson
Kyle
Drew
We'll see which ones will stick. For anyone reading this, please feel free to suggest names!
I am grateful to have such wonderful people in my life, and amazing mothers. Sally, Donna and Sandi are excellent examples of a mother's love. Can't wait to make you all Grandmother's again!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Day 6
What a good day - cleaned the house, nice dinner. Bryan is the grill master. Opened all the windows and let the fresh air from the rain in. Spoke to Kendall, she's my best friend. She ran the Lincoln marathon today in 2 hours and 14 minutes. SOO proud of her. Wish I could run a marathon.... Going to work out in the morning, as part of my new healthy routine. They say ab muscles are good to have when you are carrying a baby, so I'd better get cracking. Because, I'm pretty sure I have some ab muscles, they are just covered by layers of pizza, fast food and other unhealthy stuff! Ha haha.. Seriously though, I am getting back on track with the healthier lifestyle. Tomorrow is a new day! Temp 97.7. 1 hot flash...and felt a weird pain in my abdomen today....I wonder if that means I am ovulating. They say I won't be ovulating for another 4 days...
Goodnight
Goodnight
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Day 5
Went to Cinco De Mayo today in South Omaha. It was a great time! Awesome food, good music and beautiful weather. What can beat that??? Bryan worked this morning, but he's home now and we're trying to figure out what to do with our day. Temp is 98.2 now, which is a little higher than it's been but, a little closer to where it needs to be. Hot flashes have gone away, THANK GOD! Feeling good, loving life and grateful for this day.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Day 3
Yesterday was a busy day. Forgot about the blog...I did take my temp though, and it was 97.9. Today it is 97.5. I think it's supposed to be around 98 degrees, but it's close enough. Weird thing is that I feel like my temp is much higher sometimes. These hot flashes are crazy.
My mood has been upbeat and happy lately. Bryan has been working until 8 or 9 at night so, it's been fun getting home, taking care of the house and having dinner ready for him when he gets here. I usually work until 6 or 7 so, he beats me home usually. I know he's tired, but I'm enjoying taking care of him, and making the house something nice to come home to.
This week at work, I have had a colleague in town for training. Her name is Kelly, and she's a recruiter in Seattle. The company sent her to Omaha to train with me. We were talking today about having children and balancing a career. She has a young son, so she had some great advice for me. Setting boundaries at work, and staying true to what really matters...which is family. I wonder how I'll be able to do that. I can be obsessive about being successful and having a career. However, I really wish I could stay at home. Who can do that anymore!?!?!? Our society requires both parents to work to really have a good living. Sometimes I think if we simplified our life, we could afford to have me stay home but, then I wake up!
I don't mind working. I have since I was 14, and I enjoy my career. I just wish I had more time to do things I like to do. It seems as though whenever I have time off, we spend it either taking care of house stuff or other obligations. I know when we have a child this will be difficult and we'll have to prioritize our time.
Kelly mentioned her friend today who has 3 children. One of them was named Reese. I think I like that name for a girl. Reese Davis. Is that cool? I like it.... We always seem to come back to the name Kate for a girl though, and call her Katie. Still not quite sure about a boy's name. We love the name Jackson but, it's such a popular name now. eh, we'll figure it out.
Good night!
My mood has been upbeat and happy lately. Bryan has been working until 8 or 9 at night so, it's been fun getting home, taking care of the house and having dinner ready for him when he gets here. I usually work until 6 or 7 so, he beats me home usually. I know he's tired, but I'm enjoying taking care of him, and making the house something nice to come home to.
This week at work, I have had a colleague in town for training. Her name is Kelly, and she's a recruiter in Seattle. The company sent her to Omaha to train with me. We were talking today about having children and balancing a career. She has a young son, so she had some great advice for me. Setting boundaries at work, and staying true to what really matters...which is family. I wonder how I'll be able to do that. I can be obsessive about being successful and having a career. However, I really wish I could stay at home. Who can do that anymore!?!?!? Our society requires both parents to work to really have a good living. Sometimes I think if we simplified our life, we could afford to have me stay home but, then I wake up!
I don't mind working. I have since I was 14, and I enjoy my career. I just wish I had more time to do things I like to do. It seems as though whenever I have time off, we spend it either taking care of house stuff or other obligations. I know when we have a child this will be difficult and we'll have to prioritize our time.
Kelly mentioned her friend today who has 3 children. One of them was named Reese. I think I like that name for a girl. Reese Davis. Is that cool? I like it.... We always seem to come back to the name Kate for a girl though, and call her Katie. Still not quite sure about a boy's name. We love the name Jackson but, it's such a popular name now. eh, we'll figure it out.
Good night!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Day 1
I've wanted to be a mother my entire life, so it's funny that I titled this Day 1. Day 1 started when I was very little, and I realized that someday, someone would call me "Mommy". I dreamt of the day I would get married so I could begin my time on earth as a mom. After high school I joined the military and during that time discovered I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. At that time, not much was known about it (at least by military doctors), and I was told I would not be able to conceive.
This was a hard time. If I couldn't be a mom, then why was I here? Everything I had done up to that point was for "when I had kids". All the different things I had saved so that one day my children could look at them. For example, every card, from every birthday and every event...I figured someday my kids would like to read those, so I saved them. I know it seems ridiculous but, my mother didn't have a lot of things for me to look at from her childhood, and I always wondered, so I figured my kids might enjoy those things.
Anyhow, I was crushed. I couldn't believe that God would do this to such a deserving person.....man, was I self-absorbed. What I came to realize later is that God didn't do anything to me. God blessed me with a desire to be a mother, not an inability to conceive and I soon realized that having a baby naturally was not my only option in becoming a mother.
Then, after a long, long wait....I met Bryan. He's a wonderful man, with soft eyes and a gentle soul. After a couple of years we married however, didn't object to having a child before we made it official. We didn't use birth control, however we knew it would be a very small chance we would have a baby, so this wasn't something we were counting on. I've talked to Bryan several times about having and not having a baby. He is completely open to adoption, but would prefer we try to have a baby of our own too. We have never argued on the matter, as I believe this is just as much his decision as mine, however I do think I would like to adopt someday. I'm grateful for any opportunity to become a mother and I know how many children need a good one. My sister is a social worker, so I am reminded of this constantly and sometimes wonder if Bryan and I are being selfish by trying to have a baby at all.
I started taking Chlomid today. It's a fertility drug that induces ovulation. I had some hot flashes and was sweating at work, but so far, nothing too serious in terms of side effects. Bryan and I are so excited, and are tracking our dates. I will take 4 more pills, and after I've taken those, we are supposed to "try" 5 to 12 days after that. In the meantime, I need to track my temperature and start a calendar. That's kind of what this blog is for too...
Day 3
First Pill
Temp: 98
This was a hard time. If I couldn't be a mom, then why was I here? Everything I had done up to that point was for "when I had kids". All the different things I had saved so that one day my children could look at them. For example, every card, from every birthday and every event...I figured someday my kids would like to read those, so I saved them. I know it seems ridiculous but, my mother didn't have a lot of things for me to look at from her childhood, and I always wondered, so I figured my kids might enjoy those things.
Anyhow, I was crushed. I couldn't believe that God would do this to such a deserving person.....man, was I self-absorbed. What I came to realize later is that God didn't do anything to me. God blessed me with a desire to be a mother, not an inability to conceive and I soon realized that having a baby naturally was not my only option in becoming a mother.
Then, after a long, long wait....I met Bryan. He's a wonderful man, with soft eyes and a gentle soul. After a couple of years we married however, didn't object to having a child before we made it official. We didn't use birth control, however we knew it would be a very small chance we would have a baby, so this wasn't something we were counting on. I've talked to Bryan several times about having and not having a baby. He is completely open to adoption, but would prefer we try to have a baby of our own too. We have never argued on the matter, as I believe this is just as much his decision as mine, however I do think I would like to adopt someday. I'm grateful for any opportunity to become a mother and I know how many children need a good one. My sister is a social worker, so I am reminded of this constantly and sometimes wonder if Bryan and I are being selfish by trying to have a baby at all.
I started taking Chlomid today. It's a fertility drug that induces ovulation. I had some hot flashes and was sweating at work, but so far, nothing too serious in terms of side effects. Bryan and I are so excited, and are tracking our dates. I will take 4 more pills, and after I've taken those, we are supposed to "try" 5 to 12 days after that. In the meantime, I need to track my temperature and start a calendar. That's kind of what this blog is for too...
Day 3
First Pill
Temp: 98
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